"You love each other the same, you just love each other differently."

It's the evening before my lovely wife's 47th birthday and I am reflecting on the title of this entry. It was spoken a few days ago by my older-than-his-years nine year old son, Hunter. It happened yesterday, on the way to my doctor's appointment. Donna and I were engaged in our usual playful debate.

It started with me saying, "I love you."

She replied, "I love you more."

I said, "That's doubtful, but it's a good thing we have the rest of lives to see who wins."

Donna turned to Hunter, who was playing his DS, and asked "Hunter, who do you think loves more? Me or your mother?"

Hunter didn't miss a beat and said, "You love each other same, you just love each other differently."

That profound bit of wisdom fell so easily off his lips and I don't think he understood how astounded Donna and I were with the depth of his quick response. I am still astounded by his insight. I think to myself about all the therapy couples go through because they are blind to the love that's right in front of them, because they need to see it expressed in obvious ways. So often, the love is right there, but because it's expressed differently, they don't recognize it.

Donna has loved me fiercely. She has loved me through my own bouts of self-doubt and feeling unworthy of love. She has loved me through thick and thin and she has loved me through crises that most others would have felt justified leaving over. We have lived through a lot in ten years and as we now walk into our second decade together, she remains steadfast, loyal and strong. She believes in us.

I know she believes because years ago, she used to wonder out loud if I would stay. I haven't heard that in more than a year, so I think she finally does believe that I don't want to be anywhere else. And I honestly don't. She grounds me. And she pulls me out of myself when I think too much. She makes me laugh at life when I want to scream in frustration and she helps me feel worthy of all the good that comes our way. She keeps me strong when I want to give up trying so hard and she makes it all feel effortless.

I love my wife and although I may not show up with flowers and candy everyday, I promise I will show up to spend every day of my life with her. As we raise our children together, I do it with a full and open heart, knowing that they will grow up and create lives of their own and we will be left in a very quiet home, but what will remain is the desire to spend each chapter of our life together.

So, my sweet Donna, I don't love you more, I love you differently. Happy Birthday. I love you. "Vous et nul aultre. . . . "