"She could get a cardboard box pregnant!"

Yesterday, my wife and I were reminiscing about our fertility doctor, Dr. Jane E. Miller. Although it borders on blasphemy, we believe she's a goddess. She had a hand in the conception of both of our children and we can genuinely say we love her and her staff. We met Dr. Miller early in our marriage when we decided to attend the NYC Gay and Lesbian Expo in 2000. Dr. Miller is a brilliant business woman as well as a doctor. She had a table at the Expo and suddenly two women's biological clocks started ticking.

Donna was the brave one to have our first child, Hunter. I remember sitting in Dr. Miller's waiting room, my heart full with the hope that we could have a child together. I never once felt awkward about my relationship with Donna and we were immediately impressed with Dr. Miller's approach and bedside manner. She made each visit feel like we were with a friend, not just a doctor. I travelled a lot at the time for business and she would ask me about the food I had while I was away. She was a foodie and loved  to travel herself.

So much of that experience was eye opening. I was fascinated at the ability to find and purchase sperm online. Suddenly, parts of our humanity were commodities. I suppose, in many ways, we've been selling parts of ourselves since we could stand upright. But, scrolling through profiles of sperm donors really drove it home. Once we settled on the sperm bank and the donor, we got down to the business of trying to conceive. Dr. Miller always kept us focused and positive and despite the challenges of one working ovary and only two eggs, Donna conceived Hunter in December of 2000.

What a blessing and what a holy time of year to conceive! However, we decided to act as normally as possible. So, what did we do? We drove nearly 500 miles to Maine to spend an early Christmas with my parents. During our visit, Donna, who had been given strict instructions to take it easy, found herself chasing my mother's Rottweiler, Loki, in a snow storm. Loki had gotten loose from the house and was quickly making her way up to the road, when Donna's adept speed and McGyver-like skills with a scarf she had fashioned into a lasso allowed her to retrieve the dog and bring her home. A few days later, on the way home to New Jersey, we should have known that Donna was pregnant. Suddenly, she couldn't stay awake and slept most of the 8 hour drive back home.

Nine months later, we welcomed Hunter into the world on the eve of September 11th. Our joy was tempered with the loss of life that is still unimaginable. I tell Hunter all the time that he has impeccable timing. I had planned to go into Manhattan that day, but I fell in love with a boy for the first time and couldn't imagine going into work when I could bond with my new baby instead.

Dr. Miller was pressed into service for the Graffam family again in 2005, when we started to plan for our second child, our beautiful little princess Skye. Ironically enough, we met another lesbian couple at our church who had conceived their little girl with the help of Dr. Miller. One of our new friends said, "She could get a cardboard box pregnant!" With that glowing endorsement and the evidence of her skills sitting next to us in the living, breathing angels we were blessed to raise, I entered her office full of hope.

Again, I found out in December of 2005 that I was pregnant. What a joyous time. When I delivered Skye, one of Donna's first phone calls was to Dr. Miller. She was so excited, she blurted out, "Dr. Jane, I love you!" Dr. Miller knew immediately that it was Donna and was thrilled for us.

Without Dr. Miller, we never would have been blessed to be parents. I can't find the right words to express my love and gratitude to her for this gift. I know her gifts are from God and I pray she knows just how sacred her work is. I see it everyday in the eyes of my beautiful children. God bless you, Dr. Miller.