A Soldier's View

One of my dear friends serves in the army and recently shared his view on gays in the military. As he puts it, “I don't care who the person is... as long as they're shooting in the same direction as me.”

My brother serves in the Coast Guard and his opinions are very similar as those of my friend. Ultimately, they don't care what the orientation of the person they are serving with is; they simply want a dependable, brave battle buddy to watch their backs.

I have the utmost respect for both of those men, and for the military in general. They demonstrate such patriotism and bravery and throughout our country's history, and indeed, the history of the world, we have needed military protection.

Both of my grandfathers served with honor; my mother's father in WWII and my father's father in the Korean War. Now, my nine year old son is intrigued by war and all things military. My heart breaks because all of them are such gentle souls, yet their nobility has driven them to places harsh and unforgiving. My prayer for them all is that one day, war will become obsolete. As a mother, the last thing I want to see is anyone's child in harm's way. I also despair at the thought that some of our children who are now soldiers have had to defend themselves by taking another's life. As they put it, "Kill or be killed."
 
I've never served because the military didn't allow gays to serve when I was considering my post- high school options. I could have used the assistance in paying for college and in buying my first home. I would have gladly served my country and perhaps even made a career of my service, but I knew I was lesbian and I also knew that I would have had to hide that during my service. Even after Don't Ask, Don't Tell was implemented, it became a requirement to keep that fundamental part of who you were under wraps. I couldn't then and still can't reconcile the double standard that allows heterosexual servicemen and women to talk about their families while homosexual servicemen and women are expected to become asexual beings or to be inauthentic about who they are.


It seems that every country glorifies war, and makes it a badge of honor for young men and women to aspire towards service. I don't dispute for an instant that it is an honorable calling to defend our country and to spread the promise of democracy and the belief that all men and women are fundamentally entitled to pursue happiness without the interference of government or harassment based on ethnicity, race, or gender. I simply ask that our politicians remember that honor and integrity transcends our differences. Give our soldiers more credit and understand that like any other subculture, soldiers simply represent the same diversity of thought that our greater culture demonstrates. So, let's continue to grow in our collective ability to embrace, not just accept, our differences.

I fervently pray that one day diplomacy will trump the need to go to war. I hold out hope that debate and a mutual desire to understand one another's humanity will drive us to drop our guns and lift our consciousness. And I recognize and appreciate that the higher consciousness would have been built on the bloodshed of our forefathers and mothers. So, to all those soldiers out there, thank you. I appreciate your protection of the rights I enjoy as American; the right to freedom of speech ranking pretty high on that list.