I can still hear the haunting cry of loons on Brewer Lake in my hometown of Orrington, ME. The peace and serenity I felt during that week was restorative, despite a busy week of being on the road to see different points of interest with the friends we had brought along. Although we had a very busy week, those precious moments of hearing the loons and soaking up the view were enough to keep me going. The memory of being on the lake in a canoe and watching a bald eagle land on a majestic pine tree as I played tag with a loon near the shore is indelible in my mind.
We just returned from our annual summer vacation to Maine and the State's slogan deeply resonates with me. "The Way Life Should Be" is a phrase that used to poke the beast inside me. I used to feel like it was personal affront, telling me that life there represented the way I should be. Initially, I left home to see what the rest of the country had to offer. Before college, I had never set foot outside the state except for Music Department trips to Virginia or the annual Recreation Department weekends to Riverview, NB, Canada to celebrate our CANUSA games. When I started my job search when my college career was winding down, it became clear that I would not find the kind of professional opportunities in the State of Maine that I had worked so hard to qualify for while in college.
Underscoring all of those issues, was the frustrating fact that the politics of the state I loved kept me classified as a second-class citizen. And that was the primary reason I had not entertained moving back home. I couldn't consider moving back home because I could never have the security my straight peers enjoyed for their families.
Just recently, Maine struck down the possibility of same-sex marriage. Domestic partnerships were established in the State of Maine by statute in April 2004. This placed Maine in the category of U.S. states that offer limited recognition of same-sex relationships, but not all of the legal protections of marriage. On May 6, 2009, the state enacted a law to allow same-sex marriage in Maine. The law was subsequently repealed by 52.8% of Maine voters on November 3, 2009. Maine's domestic partnership law remains in effect.
Having entered a Civil Union in December of 2009 in NJ, the prospects of going back to a domestic partnership are something neither Donna nor I would ever consider. If the day finally comes when we can legally marry in Maine, then I would be one of the first couples to apply for a marriage license. Given our commitment ceremony was done in May 2000, after 12 years of a beautiful, profoundly sacred relationship with the woman I am sharing my life, it would seem that the third time would be a charm ;)
So, yes, "The Way Life Should Be" resonates with me still, but I continue to yearn for the day when I can pack up the Jeep with fishing gear, sip on a cup of coffee with the sounds of loons as my soundtrack and take my family fishing in my home state, knowing that it will take care of my family in the event of my untimely passing in the same way it would take care of my straight classmates' families. When that day dawns, I will be planning a state to state move, not just a vacation.
