War and Peace

My son Hunter is the gentlest boy I've ever met. He's a nature lover and concerned about our planet's health. He's compassionate, intuitive and always considers other people's feelings. He's respectful and gets visibly upset if someone he cares about is unhappy. So, it's been rather intriguing to watch him fall in love with Call of Duty (the appropriately rated version),where he has demonstrated how much he enjoys blowing things up and shooting people.

What fascinates me is that he revels in it! It's one of his favorite past times. How can such a gentle soul show such overt aggression? Is it a visceral reaction that is triggered by y-chromosomes? Or, is it a simple coping mechanism that becomes a release for anger and frustration ? If it's the latter, then sign me up!

I am also a gentle soul (you may want to check with my wife on the accuracy of that statement), but there are plenty of occasions when I'd like to go "Rambo" on some of the people I interact with. However, I'm very clear in my adult mind that my fantasy about shooting up a place is just that: fantasy. It's not something I'd ever follow through on. Donna and I make sure that we are talking to Hunter regularly about how what he sees and does in a video game is far different than what should be done in real life. Hunter is clear on that, but far too many children are not.

Understand, I would never blame the senseless school and workplace shootings that have plagued our Nation on an overdose of gaming. However, I would say that in some cases, children are ONLY getting guidance from wii systems and television shows. And that sad fact disturbs me. I think we have to remember that some parents are not around because they must work long hours to support their children. It's not a matter of neglect, it's a matter of necessity. But, I do think that when parents are present, we must seize every opportunity to call out how precious life is.

I remember growing up with Looney Tunes on Saturday mornings. I can't count the number of times Wiley Coyote was decimated in the span of 30 minutes, but that didn't translate to delusions of invincibility in which I thought it would be safe to jump off a cliff or stare into the barrel of a gun to see why it wouldn't shoot.

We have to find ways to bring balance into our children's lives so they can enjoy Nerf guns and video games without fear of acting out those activities in real life. As I see my son move through the world, I'm convinced he knows how precious life is. I am reminded of his peaceful predisposition each time he'd rather go on a walk, ride his bike, or hike in the woods than sit in front of his Wii or TV. When I hear from his teachers how thoughtfully he helps younger students with reading or math problems, I know  his priorities fall in line with ours. Each time he hugs his sister, cuddles with me, or rubs Donna's feet after she gets home from work shows me that he has respect and reverence for life.

So, I'll let Hunter continue to wage war in his "man cave" (our family room in the basement) because I know when he finishes and opens the door to join us, he's living for peace.