"Is Hunter Okay with That?"

It was a beautiful late Spring day on the playground across the street from Hunter's school when what I like to call a "teaching moment" happened.

A new family had moved in the middle of the school year and the two children were adjusting nicely. The family was from Guyana, which is close to Trinidad and Tobago, so the accent was very familiar. The boy, who was in Hunter's class, had really connected with Hunter. His older sister was also finding her way and making connections with the girls who were part of our "inner circle." Apparently, she had already heard that Hunter had two moms.
 
So, God bless her, she approached me at the park and this is how the conversation went:

"So, I hear that Hunter has two moms."

"Yes, he does." I answered.

She paused briefly and thoughtfully asked, "Is he okay with that?"

"I think he is." I responded.

She smiled and said simply, "Cool." Then she strolled off and found some friends to hang out with.

Her mom had that embarrassed look that often comes over my friends when they feel as though a line has been crossed. She was new to our group, so I made sure she knew it was okay. "I'm very happy she asked the question directly to me." I said to her. She smiled and said she was glad I felt that way. And just to be sure, I asked, "Are you okay?" She assured me she was and went back to whatever other topic had been on the table.

One of the things that I love most about kids is that they quickly understand what things are really important in life. They make friends so easily, and they still see the world as a new adventure. They are unfettered with senseless hate and bigotry. So, I think it's very important for people of all orientations to understand how important it is to live authentically, not outrageously, so that we can have those teaching moments. Donna and I have often believed that if we set the tone for the respect we expect to get from our friends and family, we'll get it.

Recently, when I shared with Hunter (not his real name)  that I had started a blog in an effort to share our life experiences and teach people about the wonderful life we have here, I told him that I had changed his sister's and his names to protect their privacy. He was confused. I explained that until he was older, I wanted to protect his identity because some kids that don't know him as well may pick on him for having two moms. His response was priceless.

"Mom, I tell everyone in school that I have two moms and you know what? Not a chuckle."

I told him he's blessed. We live in a community that celebrates diversity and leads the way in creating a atmosphere that fosters love and acceptance. Not every community in America can say that yet. The recent death of Tyler Clementi proves that he felt death was the better option than dealing with the bullying he was subject to at Rutgers.

I pray that someday, hopefully within my lifetime, all people can live authentically and without fear of bullying or harassment. I'm proud of my son for being so open about his family. I'm proud of his school for making it okay for him to do that, and I'm proud of my friends and family for showing the world that we can live in peace and harmony.