"I Never Thought of it That Way"

I love Oprah Winfrey. I absolutely ADORE her. Her show went national when I was in high school and since being an adult with responsibilities at 4:00 PM, I have taped or DVRed her show.  Now that she has launched her OWN network, I'm in Oprah-heaven. I was watching "Oprah Winfrey Presents Master Class", where she uses celebrities to teach life's lessons using their own lives as teaching tools. This week's class features Oprah herself. At one point in the program, she said that for every show she does, her intention is to teach her audience about whatever topic happens to be showcased. She loves to help people achieve "aha" moments; those epiphanies where suddenly things make sense or they are better able to understand issues with which they had struggled.

I like to think that by choosing to live authentically and openly, Donna and I, along with Hunter and Skye, are helping others to think about gay marriage and same sex parenting differently.  For us, it's simply marriage and parenting as we move through the day to day grind. We don't put the "gay" or "same sex" labels on it. Our family and close friends rarely do either. They see us struggle with the same work/life integration issues and time management challenges they do. Since these are all common issues it creates mutual admiration, understanding and a priceless support network.

The moments I love are those teaching moments that occur with people outside of our comfort zone. Those people who are in our peripheral vision and sometimes, we don't even realize we're being observed. Initially, they suddenly realize that our family is different.  Then, as they continue to watch us, they recognize familiar themes. They see two parents teaching manners ("Please don't interrupt us, Skye"), setting boundaries ("Hunter, do I look nine years old to you? I have to believe you wouldn't talk to your mother that way."), and reveling in cherished moments of unsolicited affection (kisses, hugs, I love yous, and reaching out to hold our hands). That familiarity strikes a chord and helps these strangers realize that whatever other labels people have for us, whether it's gay, lesbian, or inter-racial, the bottom line is that we are parents first and our kids are happy and well-adjusted.

So, when folks pry and ask how we became parents, our answers help them understand that it was by the grace of God and some really great doctors, just as any other couple who has fertility issues. Suddenly, they have that look that says, "I never thought of it that way." I love those moments!

Circling back to Oprah, who inspired this piece, I recognize that she has had no small impact on my own life and the choices I made and continue to make. She is a modern-day Horatio Alger story. She has beaten unbelievable odds and moved through the world with a divine confidence that propelled her to unimaginable success. Like Oprah, I believe that God is in every detail and that everyone's life has a purpose. I hope that I move through the world open enough to hear the universe whisper in my ear, telling me what direction I need to take so that I'm walking the path meant for me. I want to make a difference in the world. I'll continue to trust in the path that I'm on and hope that as my path crosses others, we can all learn from each other and come away thinking, "I never thought of it that way."