Miss Manners

Yesterday morning, my little girl Skye, who is 4 1/2 years old, crawled into bed with me and asked, "Mama, when will I turn brown like Mommy?" I murmured that she wouldn't turn brown. She then asked, "Then I'll stay orange forever?" I said, "Yes, honey." And very matter-of-factly, she was off to find her clothes for the day.

Skye is very observant and quick witted. She had spent the previous evening alone with Donna at the movies, so I'm sure she was taking note of the difference in their complexion; hence, her question. She adores Donna and wants to emulate her. And they are very much alike in the ways in which they love to be part of the action and in how their natural leadership skills emerge when they are part of a group. Watch out, because one of them is going to take charge of any situation they don't find to their liking.

I know I'm biased, but Skye's the kind of child who takes everything in and doesn't miss a detail. She can tell exactly what you were wearing weeks prior, down to the color socks you wore. She loves clothes, hairstyles, purses, shoes and makeup. She tells me that she loves cartoon characters or television stars simply because they wear her favorite colors. Her "signature" color as Donna taught her, is pink. Her other favorite is purple. So, if she sees both together, she thinks whatever or whomever is displaying these pastel colors is the epitome of good taste.

I'm finding it very interesting to watch her draw conclusions about a person's character based on superficial data, such as the clothes they wear. I find she is incredibly impressionable now and is drawing conclusions, right or wrong, on the data she has available. That's why Donna and I are making very sure that we are available to teach her about character; the intrinsic part of a person's soul that you can't see with the naked eye, but you can certainly see with your own moral compass.

Right now, we're teaching her manners. Simply coaching when to say "please" and "thank you" isn't enough. We're also explaining the importance of asking how someone is and waiting for the answer the person gives. Checking in on how some one's feeling after being ill is also something we're teaching. There are so many things that make up the character of a child that we often take for granted or don't consciously realize we are teaching them. So, we find in sometimes embarrassing moments that she's been paying attention to EVERYTHING. For example, when I said at three o'clock in the afternoon on Saturday that I would skip ice cream for dessert so I can start to lose weight, and then at seven o'clock later that evening, I was digging in to my favorite flavor, Skye told me  in the bluntest manner possible that I was going to get fat.  As astute as her observations are, the biggest challenge for Skye now is learning how to listen 90% of the time and talk 10%.

Right now, she's got it reversed. I've never met a child who can talk as much as my daughter. It's really remarkable and often humorous, but also very frustrating. It's so challenging to get a word in edgewise! How in the world do you get a vivacious four year old hell-bent on figuring out the world to stop long enough to listen and observe how she fits in? While Skye is awake, poor Hunter is relegated to the brief moments in which Skye is taking a breath for her next monologue to get a few words in.

A friend suggested that I only allow Skye five questions a day. I doubt that will help her thirst for knowledge and I'm afraid I'd be setting her up for failure and myself for frustration. So, I'm open for any suggestions that folks have in finding the delicate balance for keeping her spirit alive and thriving while keeping our sanity in tact. In the meantime, I'll continue teaching, not only in what I say, but in how I behave.

P.S. I joined Weight Watchers last night  :)