"Have you had them from the beginning?"

Sometimes, Donna and I forget that our family is different from most. For those in our circle, we're just like any other hard-working, middle-class family trying to make ends meet and do right by our family and our community. For others who meet us for the first time, dozens of questions race through their minds and some of those questions actually get asked.

On Monday, Donna and I packed up Hunter and Skye and took them to a trial class in Tae Kwan Do. The primary focus was for Skye; she is a dangerous combination of hyperactivity and willfulness that can drive the most patient person to the edge. We thought the discipline and workout would be great for channeling that energy without crushing her spirit. For Hunter, we are very aware that he needs to have the confidence to defend himself from the ignorance he will inevitably stumble upon when he starts Middle School. He's in the last part of his 4th Grade year, so Middle School is only a calendar year away. And words can only help him so much; as disheartening as it is to admit, he may have to defend himself physically one day.

When we arrived, we met Linda,the secretary for the Tae Kwon Do school, who sat with us and Skye and reviewed the pricing and packages. She asked us who Skye's mom was and Donna answered, "We both are." Linda didn't skip a beat and said, "Wow! That makes you extra special." She got an A+ in the acceptance category. Donna and I were very pleased with the school, the other parents and the instructors and decided that we would enroll them soon.

Before we left, Linda asked Donna, "So, have you had them from the beginning?" Donna was confused and asked, "From the beginning of what?" Initially, Donna had images each of our children beaming down from some alien craft. Then Donna realized what Linda was asking and she said, "Yes, Stacy had one and I had one." Linda responded with "And then you brought them together?" Donna laughed and said, "Yeah, like the Brady Bunch."

Let me clarify for my readership that we're not exactly like the Brady Bunch, because we weren't married to other people with whom we had our children before we came together. We were together before there was a Hunter or a Skye. We planned for them like many other couples who do family planning and need a little help in the fertility department.

But, Linda's question is common. I would guess that most strangers watching us move through the world wonder how we were blessed with two great kids. What makes Linda uncommon is that she had an open mind to directly ask the question. I find that refreshing because she wanted to learn and was motivated by genuine interest in how we came to be a family. It's wonderful to have people in the community craving knowledge and understanding. It's wonderful to be presented with teachable moments like that and to know that Linda's question isn't undermining our family unit or questioning the validity of our family, quite to the contrary; I believe it strengthens the collective understanding and acceptance of the greater community in which we live.

Because I'm a bit of a philosopher, Linda's questions takes me to another more ethereal place. I believe we have had each other from the very beginning. I think God's plan for us was set in stone before we jumped into our current human experience. We've always been together from the beginning. Because as much as I feel confident to move through the world as an individual, I feel complete when I'm with my family.

I want to thank the Lindas of the world for asking the questions that build and strengthen the foundation for greater acceptance. It was a great question and certainly got me reflecting on how deep that question can go.