"Mom, I think we're the most holy of the Graffams"

Late this summer, I took advantage of an unusual long lunch break and took Hunter to Wendy's. It was one of those rare moments when Skye was at summer camp and I had Hunter all to myself without the typical distractions that both of us juggle. Mine being instant messages, phone calls and computers, and his being his Wii and iPad and "The Regular Show."

During that lunch, we got on the topic of our church and the J2A and Rite 13 classes that would start this month. Since about February of this year, Hunter has shown an avid interest in the church and our faith and the "suspenseful" stories in his Children's Bedtime Bible stories book. As I read them to him at bedtime, it's reminiscent of Grimm's Fairytales. We're still in the Old Testament, and it's focused on God's dark side; as He strikes Sarah mute for laughing at the thought of having a baby in her eighties, casts Adam and Eve out of Eden for disobeying Him, and shows sibling rivalry at its most extreme as Cain kills Abel. As a parent, I wonder if it shouldn't come with a Parental Advisory sticker. Despite its racy stories, it's opened a great dialogue between Hunter and me and even resulted in Hunter asking for a meeting with our priest.

Hunter is trying to measure holiness

After finishing his favorite Wendy's sandwich, Hunter said, "Mom, I think we're the most holy of the Graffams." I had to laugh at his assessment and quickly take the teaching moment to share that holiness is not measured by the amount of time one attends church or talks about religion and spirituality. So much of what makes us "holy" is our God-given divinity. In our case, we believe in the Trinity; the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. It's that Holy Spirit that we believe resides within all of us and gives life to God's church.  It connects us to God and Jesus and graces us with divinity, or what Hunter would call, "holiness."

I think some of the holiest people are also people you are unlikely to find in a church. For example, I know that although Donna is not as inclined to be in church every week, she has a deep and abiding faith and belief system. Sometimes I wish she would attend more often, but I have come to respect that how she exercises her relationship with God is different than how I do it. 

Skye loves going to church and enjoys learning prayers and songs about our faith. Sometimes when she prays, she extends her arms toward the sky so that she can hug Jesus. Recently, she was heart broken that she couldn't feel Jesus hug her back. So, I reminded her that God is in all of us and I hugged her and asked if she could feel God's love. That's what consoled her and helped her understand the Holy Spirit concept a bit better.

And Hunter's eagerness to learn more fuels his hunger for answers to questions about morality and spirituality. So, he is eager to start attending J2A and Rite 13. I'm so glad he will have that space in which to explore matters of faith and spirituality. But I have to disagree with him that we are the most holy of the Graffams. I believe his assessment comes from having watched me deliver a sermon on Gay Pride Sunday in June and knowing how important church was in my life growing up and remains today.

I hope that as Hunter learns more, he'll realize that one's holiness can only be measured by God. And the beauty of our faith is that all we need to do is believe in Christ to have everlasting life. My young theologian will have a lot of questions around that and much more, I'm sure.