"Look Mom! It's a gay thing!"

Hunter spotted a Gay Pride Flag outside of a Presbyterian Church in Sleepy Hollow, NY, while we were driving to the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. My mom was visiting us and she had always wanted to see Sleepy Hollow, made famous by the story written hundreds of years ago by Washington Irving. As we passed the the church, Hunter saw the flag, and yelled, "Look Mom! It's a gay thing!"

It's funny, I had a mix of emotions as Hunter made that thrilling observation. I still carry the emotional scars of my internal homophobia, which seem to be so close to the surface when my parents are near. So, my initial reaction was worry about how my mother would react to Hunter's statement. I fought an almost instinctual reaction to hush Hunter. I'm glad I didn't. My mother stayed quiet, but smiled, which gave me cautionary comfort. It's not that my mother isn't proud of Hunter's openness or of my family. It's just completely different for her to see our reality juxtaposed against fear she harbored for years about what might happen to me. It was fueled by what happens so often to openly GLBT people, which often results in fatal consequences.

One thing my mother and I share is a deep abiding faith in God and how it shapes our lives. I learned my faith from my mother, who raised me in the Congregational tradition, but her heart called her to join the Catholic Church just before I left for college. Ironically, one of the first conversations I had about my being lesbian was with her priest, who was remarkably helpful to me.

My family has enjoyed a different faith experience. Donna was raised Catholic as well, and given my Protestant upbringing, we felt the Episcopal tradition would suit us well. It has. One of the things I love most about the sacrament of Holy Baptism (BCP p. 308) is the prayer recited at the time of Baptism. Part of the prayer includes the phrase, "Give them an inquiring and discerning heart, the courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works." The discerning part is what gets me every time. I love that we are asking the child to honor debate and inquiry. Not to accept things blindly, but to hold their own opinion, shaped by thoughtful prayer.

Hunter's discerning spirit fuels his pride

That discerning spirit is one thing I love so much about both of our children. I'm so proud of Hunter's joy in seeing things that celebrate his parents' community. He's a tremendous ally to us and just recently participated in the 2012 Pride NYC parade with Donna, riding shotgun on her bike with the Sirens NYC Motorcycle Club.

So, it's a profound blessing that we have raised two children who understand that diversity comes in all shapes and sizes, seen and unseen, but always received with respect and whenever possible, celebrated with unbridled excitement. Hunter continues to demonstrate character that I can only aspire to. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "I want to be like my son when I grow up."