Friday, March 16, 2012

"He gets it from his Moms."

My mother has come a long way since thinking I was going through some kind of collegiate confusion more than twenty years ago when I came out. Today, she warmly embraces my family and joyfully enjoys my stories about the children and Donna and how we move through the world together. Last month, as Hunter and I were heading back to New Jersey after a visit that was far too short, Hunter was balancing his gear while trying to open the car door. I made my way over to help him, telling him how talented he was to manage it all on his own.

My mother was watching all of this perched on the deck of my childhood home. Her response touched my heart when I heard her say, "He gets it from his mothers."

Wow! As I think back nearly twelve years ago when Donna and I were planning a life together, I remember struggling to find peace with my mother's disapproval of the choices I made and my own belief that I belonged with Donna. My parents decided not to attend our Commitment Ceremony in May of 2000. How I longed to have her share my joy that I had finally found the right partner with whom to spend my life.
Hunter manifests the best of both parents
 It was only after Hunter's birth that she came to understand how committed I was to building a life with Donna and enjoying all the blessings that God had in store for us.

I distinctly remember the time during which Donna and I were pouring over the choices we needed to make to realize our dream of having children . I so wanted to share each moment with my mother; however, at that time in our relationship, our conversations were strained and cluttered with small talk,designed to hide the important things that needed to be discussed. So, I was thrilled to hear the change in her voice when I told her Donna was pregnant and I intended to adopt our baby to share parental rights. I think that up until that point, she was fearful that our commitment to each other wasn't stable enough to have children. Looking at it from her vantage point, I had moved to New Jersey to be with Donna in March and by December, we were pregnant! It was analogous to a straight couple coming back from their honeymoon with a bun in the oven.

Today, I love that we have come to love and respect one another and really enjoy each others company. Now, the moments of silence between us are nothing more than pauses in a conversation we started more than 40 years ago when I was born.

I will agree with my mother that Hunter has gotten much of his talent from his mothers. It only makes sense, since so much of what I bring to the world is because of my her.