"Would you preach on Gay Pride Sunday?"

My life is blessed. I feel like a woman who has been looking for something she thought she had lost, only to find it in plain view. God's voice has been amplified in my life lately. I think He's raising his voice now, because the subtle whisper couldn't be heard over the rest of the noise in my head. I'm glad He did. And like the maestro He is, He's used an orchestra of musicians to get my attention.

When His voice was a whisper, I attended East Orrington Congregational Church in Orrington, Maine and was an active member during the 1980s. At that time in my life, the church was my sanctuary. It was a place that fostered my spirituality and presented a possible vocation that felt perfect. My heart wanted to answer the call to service and attend divinity school. However, my fear was that my being a lesbian negated my own divinity and therefore my calling. But how I yearned to wear a clerical collar and robes, just like my hero, the Rev. Robert T. Carlson, God rest his soul. I thought to myself, if not now, later. I was sure that by the time I was 40, I'd be ordained.

Fast forward twenty-five years later to my present situation and most people will see a 41-year old business woman who loves to help people develop their skills and find their own path in IBM. To keep my sanity, I think of my work as a people manager as a type of ministry. And my employer allows me to work from home, giving me the flexibility to be present for my children, two blessings I never dreamed I would have when I was growing up. I thought I'd be the favorite aunt and spoil my nieces and nephews. Instead, I'm learning as much from my "babies" as they are from me. So, with all the competing demands for my attention, the call has gotten lost in the noise that surrounds me.

Rev. Valerie Bailey Fischer got my attention

Recently, I've been tuned into Oprah Winfrey's network and her phenomenal Life Class series. It helped me recognize that I could still answer my calling and find ways to fulfill the highest, truest expression of myself.  And then last weekend, Rev. Valerie Bailey Fischer called me. I met Rev. Valerie at a cottage party hosted by one of the members of our church, St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Teaneck, NJ. During the party, I shared with Rev. Valerie that I was a blogger and shared the adventures in parenting my wife and I enjoyed. I left her with my blog address. Little did I know how my blog would be received.

Our parish has always been progressive and has been inclusive of LGBT families, which is largely why Donna and I are parishioners, albeit, not actively present on Sundays. I shared with Rev. Valerie that our family's schedules make attending church services on Sundays hard to accomplish. She promised that she'd find other ways to pull us in. She's made good on that promise. She called me and mentioned that she's been following my blog and asked if I would preach on Gay Pride Sunday.

I'm glad she was on a phone and not in front of me, because my mouth fell open and for a moment I was speechless (hard for some of my friends to believe, I'm sure). Now, I hear the call  and I'm going to find ways actively listen and act on it. The first step will be to share my faith journey with the other parishioners in attendance on June 24th, when we will celebrate Gay Pride. And this time, I will not put artificial deadlines in place that serve only to frustrate and discourage me as I move along the path God intended. This time, I will remember that it's God's time, not my time, that matters.